Is your ego your friend or your enemy?

I love the Buddhist philosophy and its teachings on selflessness and living peacefully, but the one thing I'm having difficulty with is when Buddhists call for the "destruction" of ego to free one's soul. To me that sounds like a negative process, so I'd rather opt for "melting" the ego, calling for flexibility and agility to grow and strengthen one's spirit instead. I mean, without the presence of ego, would you even be able to make decisions and act responsibly as an active participant in society? I believe the destruction of ego might be more suitable for monks and not your average person trying to find their way through life.